Meddling With Things You Cannot Control

Conditions: Sharp, Like a Razor

Living In His World

Is it just me, or is the head of google, Larry Page, getting a little too confident in his technology? A little arrogant, a little John Hammond-ish? So sure is he of his new self driving cars that he’s written an article that effectively chides the human race for being too childish to embrace the wonderful future of which he will provide.

By now, you’ve no doubt heard about the incredible advancements Google has been making in developing self-driving cars. These aren’t just a novelty or convenience; within five years of their release, this technology could end automotive accidents altogether. But when will they actually arrive?

Well, I’m here to say that our cars could be on the road tomorrow, were it not for the exquisite splendor of a roadway catastrophe, of shredded metal and scorched leather, that so captivates with its sublime, terrible beauty. [...]

Close your eyes. You know it well. The chorus of machine screams and the susurrations of soft, sundered flesh. The polyphonic pavement cascade of violent kineticism that so stirs the undermost soul, that rapturous rupture. Now awaken the sirens, swelling on the breeze. Oh, the sirens. Don’t you quiver?

Now, replace that with the whine of a little electric car. Beautifully engineered, sure, but utterly bloodless. Which is the true tragedy?

- clickhole.com/

Oh shut up. This is typical of a tycoon who truly believes all the bullshit that’s been shoveled his way over the years. His stupid little self driving cars will likely never fulfill the destiny he has mapped out for them, becasue ultimately people don’t want to spend huge amounts of money on a thing they cannot control. Added to that is the simple fact that they’ll require constant and obsessive maintenance in order to keep operational (which people won’t do), and will represent a logistical nightmare in everything from insurance to taxation to ownership. That he should still deign to concern himself over the fate of us little people is sign indeed that he is a worthy god amongst us insects, and that we should be grateful that we get to inhabit the same speck of space-borne dirt as his own magnificence. The jerk.



Film Review: Jurassic World

When was the last time you were scared in a movie theater? I’m not talking about being nervous or concerned or worried or edgy. Or even disgusted. I’m talking about the full on, holy-shit, someone-hold-me scared? It doesn’t happen very often, but Jurassic Park movies can provoke that feeling of “holy crap” on occasion. However the films, especially the sequels, are not without their problems. The first one is mostly brilliant, but the second and third moved away from the Park concept to tell stories more about exploring than hubris. However Jurassic World is a proper sequel to the first film, it’s about a Park that has hubris-filled humans trying to control things they can’t control.

Yes the park is finally open, and packed full of people, enjoying the various dinosaur-themed things. However above them the suits worry. Worry mostly about people that maybe have seen it all before, and perhaps are a little jaded about the idea of seeing dinosaurs doing their thing. It’s a very meta film, packed full of sly commentary and satire about Hollywood blockbusters, while at the same time being just such a Hollywood blockbuster itself. Anyway, the suits decided that they needed to create a new monster that will really scare everyone, so a new dinosaur is cobbled together from other ones, called Ignomus Rex. In a shout out to SeaWorld, it seems that this new dinosaur ends up a rage-filled killer thanks to being isolated all of its life. So when it breaks out, naturally it starts killing everything. As the park starts descending into delicious chaos, it’s up to the suit (Bryce Dallas Howard) and the cowboy (Chris Pratt) to work together in first rescuing the standard set of lost kids from the park, and then trying to take on the big bad – using a pack of raptors that Chris has trained (!). Inevitably that leads to even more delicious chaos as the monsters take over.

I must say I really appreciated the more aggressive treatment of the dinosaurs this time around, where the humans actually get to shoot weapons at them. The new monster however, is far too quick and powerful to be bothered by such things, and I found it to be very scary and cool. And then near the end, the classic Tyrannosaurus Rex is brought into play, giving us a truly terrific finale. It’s a reasonably simple film, but it’s also really effective at delivering the dino thrills. Four gasps out of five.



- Peace out